A and A's Movie A Day

Watching movies until we run out.

Movie 12 – The Lost Boys: The Tribe

The Lost Boys: The Tribe – March 12, 2010

Oh, I am so sorry.

After last night’s arty concept piece we’ve gone back to vampires. And not even cool vampires we know and love, but direct-to-video vampires who desperately wish they were as awesome as Keifer Sutherland. Or even Bill S. Prescott, Vampire. Oh but hey, there IS a Sutherland! Keifer’s half brother, Angus. Eh. I guess that’ll have to be good enough.

Is it even worth explaining the plot? Chris and Nicole, siblings now apparently down on their luck, end up in “Luna Bay” in a shitty apartment rented from their crazy aunt and of course there are vampires and they surf. Of course. The movie seems to think you should give a damn about surfing. I don’t, soooo, yeah. There’s this whole thing with the main character and he’s been kicked off the surfing circuit and the vampires are all formerly famous or something and they know who he is and there’s a lot of dick waving happening and the head vampire wants Nicole to join him and I keep expecting them all to actually whip our their penises and measure. This pack of vampires isn’t nearly as much fun as the last pack, for all that they have fun parties where they disembowel each other.

No, I’m not kidding. I really wish I was. It embodies the phrase “trying too hard”. After this? I will embrace all of Pirates of the Caribbean 2 with all my heart. Fucking hell. I mean, the little nods? The antlers, the sax player, the cover of Cry Little Sister? Shit like that? It just comes off stale and sad. Am I supposed to think that cover was edgy? The only reference that didn’t make me roll my eyes wasn’t even to the original movie. It was the “Waaaaaaarriors! Come out and plaaaaaay!” from The Warriors (and it occurs to me that we don’t own that – yet).

Thank fucking god for Edgar Frog. Thank fucking god for Corey Feldman. Even when he’s got cheesy stupid lines? It’s cool. He’s Edgar Frog (now a minister, so he can make his own holy water!) and he’s fantastic and badass as only a Frog brother could be. Somehow everything he says and does is awesome in the middle of all this crap. Maybe it’s that Feldman remembers what the hell the first movie felt like and sounded like. He’s got the tone right. No one else does.

And I’m not just saying that because of all the boobies. Granted, the blatant sex all through the movie doesn’t fit the first one at all, but it’s more than that. And don’t get me started on Corey Haim’s little cameo at the end. There was potential there and yeah, wasted. Basically I just want to slap this movie really hard.

Worse than the rest? They’re making a third. It’s in post-production right now according to IMDB. I am so sorry to be sharing that, but misery loves company.

Tomorrow, we are getting the hell away from vampires and watching Some Kind of Wonderful, which is a recent purchase, but something we’ve both seen and love. Maybe it’ll get the nasty fake blood taste out of our mouths.


March 12, 2010 Posted by | daily reviews | , , , | Leave a comment

Lost Boys: The Tribe

March 12, 2010

Lost Boys: The Tribe

The world is full of unnecessary sequels.  A follow-up to an established hit is one of the closest things to a sure thing that exists in Hollywood.  But what about a direct-to-video sequel that doesn’t come out until twenty years after the first movie?  I’m not altogether sure how this movie got made in the first place.. or why.  But I’m always up for a cheese fest.  Let’s see just how bad this can be…

Hmm.  If Lost Boys had been made for Cinemax it might have been this.  Full of random unnecessary nudity and mediocre acting.

We are taken this time to the little seaside town of Luna Bay, which is, of course, overrun by vampires.  Teenaged surfer vampires led by ex-pro surfer Shane (played by Angus Sutherland.)  Oh, and all the eighties punks have been replaced with a new generation of be-tattooed young generation Y kids.  This time around we join down-on-his-luck Chris Emmerson and his sister Nicole as they move into their aunt’s crappy spare home.  Chris, of course, is also an ex-surfer and remembers Shane, so they decide to hang out together and Nicole ends up getting turned.  All very derivative of the first movie (though I suppose it’s meant to be homage.)  Indeed they even re-use one of the vampire deaths from the first movie near the beginning.

The only thing this movie has going for it is Corey Feldman reprising his role as Edgar Frog, now a surfboard shaper and vampire hunter in Luna Bay.  Sadly even he, cheesing it up as much as he can, can’t save this movie from itself.  (Though it looks like he has fun retreading some of the exact same dialog from the first film.)

What the movie lacks (besides taste) is subtlety.  I’m reminded of Robot Satan.  “You can’t have your characters just tell us how they feel!  That makes me feel angry!”  There’s a scene, for example, where Nichole tells Shane that she thinks that death is a natural thing that makes you appreciate life more.  (This is part of a scene where he’s supposedly seducing her., and well before she knows that he’s a vampire.  It’s just her character’s idea of small talk I guess.)  Then there’s the scene where Edgar Frog basically spells out point-by-point the exact plot of the rest of the movie.  The vampires in the first Lost Boys amuse themselves by jumping off a railroad bridge.  The vampires in this movie amuse themselves by stabbing each other in the gut and bleeding.  And cursing.

What a sad excuse for a movie.  I kept waiting for at least a small twist on the formula.. and then the movie was suddenly over and it was.. meh.

March 12, 2010 Posted by | daily reviews | , , , , | Leave a comment