Movie 59 – Ultraviolet

Ultraviolet – April 28th, 2010

Oh, comic book movies. My husband has a thing for them. Personally, I think it’s a flawed thing, because there are certain things (ahem, 1990 Captain America) that we do not own. And it’s not that we don’t own bad comic book movies. There are some he’s just not bought and avoids thinking about. Comic book movies are so chancy. For every Iron Man there’s also a Captain America. I already made my thoughts on the trickiness of graphic novel-to-movie transitions clear. In Ultraviolet, there’s a hell of a lot of history to learn and instead of the in-my-opinion graceful way that Watchmen handled it, we get about ten minutes of narration over the admittedly very pretty opening scenes. It’s clunky.

But hey, let’s go over it for the sake of completeness. In the future there’s this disease that makes people stronger and faster and damage-resistant but also gives them longer teeth and a sunlight sensitivity and the need for blood transfusions and yeah, the papers all call it vampirism. No big shocker there. Our heroine, Violet, was infected while pregnant and doomed to life in a walled “camp” where she and other infected “hemophages” were experimented upon. And now she’s escaped and bluffed her way into a secure facility to be a badass and steal this weapon that’s been developed to get rid of all infected with the vampire plague. The “weapon” is actually a kid. In a tiny little case. They use magic tech to stuff him in there. And he’s got something in his blood that’ll kill all the vampires. Or all the humans. Or just him. Or something. And people chase Violet and she kills people and the kid (played by Cameron Bright, in the second movie I’ve seen now where he plays a lab kid – he’s also Leech in X3) goes from being all silent and not too with it to a little mini-sage who somehow managed to memorize the chemical formulae for a real cure for the vampire plague while he was being experimented on in the lab. Yeah. The plot has holes you could drive a semi through.

Basically, it’s a long chase movie. Don’t think too hard about it. Don’t try to make it make sense. Don’t expect even the would-be predictable twists that could have happened. Don’t expect a romantic subplot, because it looks like the vast majority of what was supposed to be one got left on the cutting room floor. Just appreciate the visuals and a female lead who kicks a lot of ass in fight scene after fight scene after fight scene. My one big quibble with the visuals is that they keep doing this thing where they blur people’s faces but only in part. It’s supposed to look all stylized, but it ends up just looking messy. The female lead, on the other hand, is a hell of a lot of fun to watch. But then, I do like Mila Jovovitch.

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Ultraviolet

April 28, 2010

Ultraviolet

There was a preview on this DVD for Final Fantasy: Advent Children. We don’t often watch the previews on our DVDs but we watched this one just to relive the insanity which was the Final Fantasy movie. And I’m glad we did, because it helped to prepare me mentally for Ultraviolet. This exceptionally silly movie really wants to be a video game. Violet has these bracelets that she can store weapons and ammo inside which reminded me very much of Jade in Beyond Good and Evil. And in the beginning part of the movie she has this cool device that re-orients gravity so she can run on walls and ceilings (and drive up the side of a skyscraper in her motorcycle.) All the gadgetry in the movie seems like something that your regular unstoppable video game hero or heroin would come equipped with.

I think there’s plot in here somewhere. Something about a war in a dystopian future between humans and vampires. But it doesn’t make much sense. It’s just an excuse to get Violet into a series of battles against increasingly large squadrons of rock-stupid enemies who either have ludicrously bad aim or just don’t shoot their guns at all, choosing instead to run straight into Violet’s sword and bullets. Or who shoot and stab each other. Then Violet gets to pose a bit before her outfit changes color and she goes to the next room to kill some more idiots.

That having been said – I quite enjoy this movie for the completely mindless stylized violence. And I will never say no to an opportunity to seeing Milla Jovovich pose in a series of midriff-revealing costumes. The action is fun, the set design is cool, and altogether the movie is very pretty. I’d even say that it makes slightly more sense than Advent Children did. But it makes me want to play a video game rather than just watch a movie. Maybe P.N.03. Or maybe Mirror’s Edge. I’ll bet that Metroid: Other M would be a good companion piece as well. (Although that’s not coming out until later this year.)

Let’s hear it for kickass video game heroines. Like Violet.