A and A's Movie A Day

Watching movies until we run out.

Alien Sex Party

Alien Sex Party

October 9, 2011

DISCLAIMER!!

This movie contains frank and casual discussion of sex. It takes place in a porn shop that has much in common with a video store Amanda and I once worked at. As a result I somewhat doubt that this review is appropriate for most audiences.

Here’s a movie that I’ll bet not too many people have in their collection. I bought it because it said “Moby Presents” on the box and I really like Moby – and because it was inexpensive and used. I had no idea what on Earth the movie was, but I bought it anyhow. I’m like that sometimes. In this case the results are a little… strange.

This movie wants to be “Clerks” in a porn store. Maybe with a little bit of Empire Records, but mostly it’s a straight take off of Clerks. To such a degree that the characters actually talk about “that movie in the convenience store where all those strange customers come in.” In fact, two of the characters visit the Quick Stop where they have a Kevin Smith style conversation, and where Brian O’Halloran cameos as a clerk whose girlfriend has sucked 37 cocks. At what point does a movie stop being homage and become simply a rip-off? This movie blatantly stomps all over that line. From the title cards to the writing style – there’s even a character named Kevin Smith.

The story takes place on Christmas Eve at Amazing Video at 1258 Boyleston St., which was an actual real place, although I’m not sure if it still exists. Manager Joe (played by Joe Smith, who seems to be trying to channel Rick Moranis, but who is not an actor) is keeping the place open until seven AM on Christmas day for any last minute shoppers, and because porn star Dyanna Lauren (played by herself) is going to be coming in for a signing. He’s inherited the store from his deceased sister and isn’t yet completely comfortable with the merchandise. He has the help of his very enthusiastic clerk Tina (played by Tina Carlucci) and a guy named Adam (played by Adam Sarner – and you may see a pattern forming here.) Throughout the night they have madcap encounters with a variety of wacky customers.

Now I worked for a while in the shipping department of TLA Video and both Amanda and I worked in one of their retail locations – which featured a room full of porn, porn in the sell-through section, and Adult Video News as bathroom reading. We’ve seen some of these wacky customers first hand, and this movie captures that strange sort of fringe of society feeling just perfectly. I took particular pleasure in reading the return policy displayed on the wall behind the Amazing Video counter. It was the same policy TLA had. Defective videos can only be exchanged for the same title, and only with valid receipt and only for legitimate defects. (i.e. you can’t get a replacement copy of your video if the old one won’t work because it is worn out or soaked with lube.) No cash refunds. Just the necessity for that sign brings back so many memories. The sales department at TLA was a small bank of cubicles next to the warehouse, and they had a wall pasted with the most amusing complaints letters they had received. You can imagine what they were like.

So, yeah, this movie and its locale gave me a strange sense of nostalgia. For that I appreciated it. Amazing seems quite well stocked. They have many of the products I remember from the TLA shelves, including the amazing five-inch-diameter butt plug that we in the shipping department just called “The Fire Plug.” That thing means business. The only product I remember from TLA that I didn’t see here is the sex-snorkel – a device that actually exists to allow for cunnilingus without the need to come up for air.

The movie itself is rough and low budget, but has a quirky charm that I quite enjoyed. At a couple points people burst into song, which was odd but still enjoyable. The aforementioned Clerks homage scene simply blew my mind. (How did they get Brian O’Halloran?) If I had made a movie while I was still working at TLA this is the movie I would have made. It’s not brilliantly filmed or well acted or particularly original, but it is funny and enjoyable and even a little heart-warming. And now I have the “You Can Have Sex With Anything” song stuck in my head.

I’m going to have to listen to the director’s commentary someday too.

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October 9, 2011 - Posted by | daily reviews | , ,

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